Top-level writers edit carefully before sending email or submitting documents. One area of attention—that the spelling and grammar checker may miss—is effective pronoun use. Using pronouns (such as he/him, she/her, it, we/us, and they/them) can improve sentence flow and cohesion. But careless pronoun use can weaken a message and confuse readers. So that your sentences communicate the emphasis and meaning you intend and can be read once and immediately understood, let’s explore two tips for effective pronoun use:
1. Use a precise noun to name a person, place, thing, or idea before replacing the noun with a pronoun. Repeat nouns you want to emphasize, and re-introduce nouns when you begin a new paragraph. Find a nice balance between never using pronouns (which sounds stilted) and using too many pronouns (which sounds weak).
In the NOT version of “How to Select a Great Mentor” below, the pronoun “she” appears before the noun “mentor.” And “she” rather than “mentor” is spotlighted at paragraph beginnings where key words should be showcased. Also, the writer has selected “she” to stand for “he or she.”
NOT: How to Select a Great Mentor
She must believe in you, the mentee, both personally and professionally. A mentor helps fill your knowledge gaps and seeks opportunities to help you grow and excel. With her you can let down your guard, share your insecurities, and ask the ‘stupid’ questions we all have sometimes.
She also sees you as a person, not just an employee. She knows enough about your personal life to understand the external factors that impact your work, and cares about your happiness. She is honest and unafraid to tell you hard truths about yourself and your work. She helps you navigate the politics of your organization or profession, and avoid the land mines. She pushes you to take risks and aim higher, and advocates for you when you’re not there. [Excerpted/modified for instructional purposes from an online Forbes leadership article, “How to be a Great Mentor” by Jacquelyn Smith (05/17/2013)]
In the BETTER version of “How to Select a Great Mentor” below, “mentor” and “great mentor” are spotlighted at the beginning of the paragraphs and then emphasized through repetition. The use of the pronoun “[singular] they” replaces “he or she” and provides nice flow and cohesion. With fewer instances of pronoun use, “they” sounds natural and inclusive.
BETTER: How to Select a Great Mentor
A mentor must believe in you, the mentee, both personally and professionally. They help fill your knowledge gaps and seek opportunities to help you grow and excel. With your mentor you can let down your guard, share your insecurities, and ask the ‘stupid’ questions we all have sometimes.
A great mentor also sees you as a person, not just an employee. They know enough about your personal life to understand the external factors that impact your work, and care about your happiness. A great mentor is honest and unafraid to tell you hard truths about yourself and your work. They help you navigate the politics of your organization or profession and avoid the land mines. A great mentor pushes you to take risks and aim higher, and advocates for you when you’re not there. [Excerpted/modified for instructional purposes from an online Forbes leadership article, “How to be a Great Mentor” by Jacquelyn Smith (05/17/2013)]
2. Refer to people consistently. For example, in descriptive text, always replace the word employees or associates with they/their/them (third person plural), never we/our/us (first person plural) nor you/your (second person), or always with you/your, never they/their/them, but never a mixture of the personal pronouns.
In the NOT version of “How to Select a Great Mentor” below, the following words refer to the mentor: “she,” “her,” “they,” “this person”—both singular and plural third person. The following words refer to the mentee: “a person,” “you,” “your,” “us,” “ourselves,” “our”—both singular second and third person and plural first person. This inconsistency distracts and confuses the reader.
NOT: How to Select a Great Mentor
A mentor must believe in her mentee, both personally and professionally. They help fill a person’s knowledge gaps and seek opportunities to help you grow and excel. With this person you can let down your guard, share your insecurities, and ask the ‘stupid’ questions we all have sometimes.
A great mentor also sees the mentee as a person, not just an employee. They know enough about your personal life to understand the external factors that impact a person’s work, and care about the mentee’s happiness. A mentor is honest and unafraid to tell us hard truths about ourselves and our work. This person helps you navigate the politics of your organization or profession, and avoid the land mines. She pushes you to take risks and aim higher, and advocates for the mentee when you’re not there. [Excerpted/modified for instructional purposes from an online Forbes leadership article, “How to be a Great Mentor” by Jacquelyn Smith (05/17/2013)]
In the BETTER version of “How to Select a Great Mentor” below, the following word refers to the mentor: “[singular] they”—inclusive third person. The following words refer to the mentee: “you” and “your”—second person. This consistency guides the reader and lets the reader focus on and understand the content.
BETTER: How to Select a Great Mentor
A mentor must believe in you, the mentee, both personally and professionally. They helps fill your knowledge gaps and seek opportunities to help you grow and excel. With your mentor, you can let down your guard, share your insecurities, and ask the ‘stupid’ questions we all have sometimes.
A great mentor also sees you as a person, not just an employee. They know enough about your personal life to understand the external factors that impact your work and care about your happiness. A great mentor is honest and unafraid to tell you hard truths about yourself and your work. They help you navigate the politics of your organization or profession and avoid the land mines. A great mentor pushes you to take risks and aim higher, and advocates for you when you’re not there. [Excerpted/modified for instructional purposes from an online Forbes leadership article, “How to be a Great Mentor” by Jacquelyn Smith (05/17/2013)]
With that quick review, you are ready to evaluate the precision and consistency of your pronoun use in your on-the-job writing.
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